Jamie's Law: Taking Action Against Suicide

This article by the West Virginia Gazette tells the story of the hard work and dedication of Michelle Toman, a West Virginian, who made it her mission to save lives by ending suicide after she lost her brother Jamie to suicide.

Toman proposed a bill, which she named after her brother, to State Senate that requires suicide-prevention programming in middle schools, high schools and colleges.

Suicide was the second-leading cause of death among West Virginians ages 10-24 in 2013. Toman did not have difficulty in getting lawmakers on board with the bill after explaining the importance of the bill and how many kids out there are hurting, and something needs to be done about it.

What I really appreciated about this article was the sensitivity the author took in their word choice. It steered clear of trigger words like “committed suicide,” which can often be associated with the idea that the person who took their life committed a crime. Instead, they used terms like “killed himself,” “died by suicide” and the like, which are much more considerate to the victim and their loved ones.

The biggest take-away from this article was that the story itself didn’t focus on the heartache or devastation of suicide. It didn't dwell on the details of how Toman's brother took his life, nor did it include speculations as to why he may have done so. It focused, rather, on how people are moving forward after such a traumatic event. They didn't spend time focusing on the emotional grieving process, but illustrated how his loved ones showed resilience and strength after the fact. It tells the story of the importance of combating suicide and the steps people take in order to do so.  It serves as an example of hope and recovery and sheds light on the fact that there is life after grieving.

Wave

“Wave” was singlehandedly the best book I’ve read to date. I am in absolute awe of Sonali Deraniyagala's word-smithing. She told her story so beautifully and in a way that was sensitive yet accurate.

It’s difficult to understand the pain of someone who has been the victim and survivor of trauma. It’s a different kind of hurt that is inexplicable. For those of us who have never had to experience such kind of trauma, this book does a magnificent job of shedding light on the aftermath of dealing with trauma. 

What I loved about this book was how powerful yet how haunting her story was. It was a story of loss, confusion, grief, devastation, and perfectly illustrated the daunting reality of someone who's entire world was taken from them in a heart beat. 

To be quite honest, I was surprised, amazed and grateful that she was able to recall the event and the aftermath of it so vividly. Trauma can leave people mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually bruised, making it difficult to remember the specifics of the event and how it panned out over time. She reflected on these moments so beautifully, and her ability to articulate the emotional turmoil and recovery process was done in a way that serves as an incredible example of how to tell the story of trauma in the most candid and humanizing way.

I felt like I could feel her pain. She was so incredibly descriptive without being too horrifyingly graphic. I felt myself feeling her pain, reasoning with the way she reacted, relating to her difficult recovering process, wanting to badly to reach out and help. She made it more than just a story to pick up and put down- she made me want to understand trauma more, and made me want to understand in depth how to help those enduring those the difficult and aftermath of it. I will use this book as a reference when dealing with covering traumatic events in my future endeavors, as I think this was a beautiful example of how to write a narrative on trauma without glamour, over sensationalizing, or belittling the events entirely. 

Adventure Ten: Relationship Status

Let’s talk relationships.

Relationships take time to build. They require effort and attention. They thrive off of commitment. They function at their best when all is balanced. They take some getting used to, but once the connection is made, it’s difficult to imagine life without it.

I’m not referring to romantic, familial, or working relationships.

I’m talking about relationship with technology—our cellphones in particular.

It goes without argument that developments in technology over the last decade or so have far surpassed anything we could have ever imagined. Our cellphones serve as a source of entertainment and enlightenment on what goes on around us, both near and far. Everything we care about keeping tabs on is right at our fingertips.

The thought of going about our day without our cells held tight in our grasp is a difficult one to digest. How are we supposed to check our email? How are we supposed to prepare for the weather? How are we supposed to stay in touch with local news? How are we supposed to stay connected with our friends and family?

It seems ridiculous to even entertain the idea because without our cell phones, we feel utterly disconnected from reality—a dangerous kind of dependency that we have become eerily numb to.

This growing attachment to our phones has singlehandedly been the demise of our social skills and our understanding of what it means to interact with others. Striking up a conversation while waiting in line at the grocery store or post office has become a social taboo that only the bravest of souls have tried, and failed, to combat.

The shameless obsession with our cellphones has fueled the epidemic that is sweeping the nation at an alarming rate—the fear of social interaction. Touch screens have made us lose touch with reality. We’re finding more satisfaction in the interactions with our phones than we do with our friends. We spend more time trying to connect to Wi-Fi than we do the people around us. This self-inflicted social isolation has made us more separated from society than we fully realize because we’re blinded by the brightly lit screens that fit in the palm of our hands.  

So how can we stay connected to society without being completely consumed by our cellphones? How can we define social interaction without the use of social media? How do we tune into reality without tuning into technology? How can we maintain relationships with our peers without having to negate the luxury of technology? It’s all about balance.

Keep your phone by your side, but let your eyes and ears wander. Snap a picture of your food and then dig in, before the meal and the mood spoil. Update your status about how great your day is, and how you’d love to share the details with friends over coffee or on a walk. Don’t let your relationship with your cell dictate your relationship with society. You can still stay tuned in, even when you’ve tuned out.

Veterans and Suicide

This article by the Chicago Tribune tells the story of the harsh realities of war and how those who put their lives on the line are still feeling the impact of war even when they return home.

The article does a wonderful job of acknowledging the mental illness issue associated with suicide deaths. It doesn’t simply focus on the devastation of suicide, but rather sheds light on the emotional and mental wounds that leave soldiers hurting after the fact.

The language and word-smithing in the article overall were impressive. Throughout the whole article, the author used “killed themself” most often, and only slipped up one time by using the terminology “committed suicide.”

While I very much enjoyed the colorful and emotionally-strung narrative of this piece, I couldn’t help but call into question some of the information they included and they way they reported it. There is certainly a hint of bias that can be detected in the beginning of the piece when the author called into question the rationality behind sending young warriors into combat. I understand the purpose in doing so – to illustrate the pain that comes from losing someone to war – but it rubbed me the wrong way. But I digress.

The author also included details as to how a solider who had returned home from war killed himself. “He killed himself with a single gunshot.” A short and simple, yet powerful statement. It’s not graphic or aggressive, but it certainly implies that the one shot struck him somewhere on his body that was immediately fatal and gory.

What really caught my attention, though, was the notion that, “some wounds will not heal. The pain is too irreversible.” I immediately thought of how dangerously suggestive this one sentence is. Of course, the article was about shedding light on the devastation of war and combat on the mental and emotional stability of those directly involved in it. However, I think this piece could have achieved the same goal of causing emotion and educating the masses in the absence of this sentence. What about the other soldiers out there that read this piece? The ones that are struggling to fight the demons of war from eating them alive? To me, this sentence screams, “You won’t get through this. You can’t get through this” to those struggling with mental illness and thoughts of suicide, regardless of their specific circumstances and situations. Overall it was a wonderful piece, but I can’t ignore the ignorance behind including this statement.

A talk with David Handschuh

This week, we had the pleasure of having a Skype session with David Handschuh, the New York Daily News photojournalist who was injured when the towers fell on 9/11. He shared with us how he remembers that day, the emotional, mental and physical impact, and how he was able to recover from it all.

It was incredible to have the opportunity to talk with him and to hear his personal recollection of the day. I very much admired his ambition when going in to cover the story. He was on his way to talk at a local college, but as soon as he got word of the first tower being hit, his plans for the day changed in a way he never would have expected.

I was amazed at how well he remembered the events of that day. Often times, details of the traumatic event can be clouded because of the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, etc. impact of it all. But he shared his story with strength and certainty, almost like it happened yesterday.

It was incredibly fascinating to hear his story of recovery after the tragedy. It's one thing to read about the experience of a trauma survivor, or to read about what to expect from those recovering from trauma, but being able to hear his account with a haunted tone was absolutely incredible. 

Handschuh also shared his story of being laid off by the news organization in which he worked for and published his work on the tragedy of 9/11. Everyone seemed to be shocked by the decision, and even more shocked that the paper continued on to downsize the paper and let go of even more employees. Handschuh had worked for the paper for 27 years.

What I admired most about Handschuh, aside from his ambitious work ethic, was his resilience. He fought to overcome the trauma that he was left dealing with in the aftermath of the event, and did so heroically. He also showed strength when being cut from his position at the paper, and said he would overcome this obstacle just as he did the trauma of being stuck beneath the rubble of the Twin Towers. I am so very grateful to have had the opportunity to listen to his story and have the utmost respect for him and his contribution to journalism.

Adventure Nine: Inclusion

I tend to avoid engaging in conversations about inclusiveness. It's not because I don't care. It's not because I'm afraid. It’s not because I’m unaware or uneducated.

It’s difficult to describe my discomfort (for lack of a better word) about the concept of inclusion. My understanding of inclusion, as well as it’s opposite, arose at a young age, and the conversation about it has only become increasingly more prevalent ever since.

I have sought out a myriad of resources to become as educated about the topic as I possibly can- acting as a social sponge in conversations with diverse groups of people, reading various political, academic, psychological works, watching a handful of documentaries and films, analyzing various aspects of news coverage – just trying to learn, to understand, to consume and digest.

So let me make myself clear: I do care. I’m not afraid. I am aware and I am educated.

Yet despite my many efforts (which admittedly take place behind closed doors) I am overwhelmed with messages that insist the opposite of my claims because of the identities that make up who I am.

I’m a woman, so I can’t understand the struggle of ____.

I’m white, so I can’t understand the struggle of ____.

I’m heterosexual, so I can’t understand the struggle of ____.

I’m a college student, so I can’t understand the struggle of ____.

I need not go on.

There is a problem with inclusion MU. This is not new news, and I’m not saying this as if people don’t already know. I’m saying this because that is how conversation – and change – begins.

There are those who hold the perspective that people who need to change their behavior aren’t interested in talking about inclusion, and race relations specifically.  These growing frustrations have reached a breaking point, and while the path that led to this breaking point differs across individuals, it has inarguably been reached.

I want to have more faith that those who don’t openly discuss issues of inclusion aren’t neglecting to do so because they aren’t interested. I do have more faith in that. Perhaps I’m too much on optimist.

We are unaware of the skeletons and baggage of people unless we communicate. We don’t receive clarification about what may be inappropriate to people who embody identities different from our own unless we ask. We remain in the dark about what we can do to minimize issues of inclusion because of the fear of what tension could arise. 

As a society:

We need to be educated.

We need to be aware.

We need to recognize.

We need to be tolerant.

We need to be consistent.